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Dangers of the Internet
Protect
your kids from cyberbullying and exposure to sexual predators with these
Internet safety tips from the experts.
From the WebMD Archives
Mary
Ellen Handy had a painful crash course in the dangers of the Internet. The
trouble started in her freshman year of high school after a dispute over a
boy's affections. Once she began dating
him, a jealous girl flooded her computer with a stream of nasty messages.
"She'd
say, 'I hate you; leave the school,' and she called me every name in the book,"
says Handy, now an 18-year-old senior in New Jersey. With the speed and ease of
the Internet, her classmate soon recruited 20 others to bully Handy online.
"It was like a ripple effect," she says. As the ordeal dragged on for
months, she dreaded going to school, felt physically ill and saw her grades
tumble.
No
doubt, the Internet can be an extremely useful tool for young people. But
instant messaging, chat rooms, emails and social networking sites can also
bring trouble - from cyberbullying to more serious Internet dangers, including
exposure to sexual predators.
How
savvy are you about keeping your child or teenager safe online? Follow these
tips to protect your kids from the 4 major dangers of the Internet.
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Internet
Danger #1: Cyberbullying
On
the Internet, cyberbullying takes various forms, says Netsmartz411.org, an
online resource that educates parents about Internet safety. Cyberbullying
includes sending hateful messages or even death threats to children, spreading
lies about them online, making nasty comments on their social networking
profiles, or creating a website to bash their looks or reputation.
Cyberbullying
differs from schoolyard bullying,
Handy says. Teachers can't intervene on the Internet. "When it happens
online, there's no one to filter it," she says. And cyberbullies don't
witness their victims' reactions, the way they might if they insulted others to
their faces. "They don't see you crying," Handy says, which may make
it easier for them to continue.
Some
cyberbullies pose as their victims and send out harassing messages to others.
Recently, cyberbullies have also begun posting humiliating videos of other kids
they dislike, says Parry Aftab, a cyberspace security and privacy lawyer who
also serves as executive director of WiredSafety.org, one of the largest
Internet safety education groups in the world.
Some tips from Netsmartz.org for responding to
cyberbullying:
- To keep others from using their email and Internet accounts, kids should never share Internet passwords with anyone other than parents, experts say.
- If children are harassed or bullied through instant messaging, help them use the "block" or "ban" feature to prevent the bully from contacting them.
- If a child keeps getting harassing emails, delete that email account and set up a new one. Remind your child to give the new email address only to family and a few trusted friends.
- Tell your child not to respond to rude or harassing emails, messages and postings. If the cyberbullying continues, call the police. Keep a record of the emails as proof.
Internet Danger #2: Sexual Predators
The online world opens the door for trusting
young people to interact with virtual strangers - even people they'd normally
cross the street to avoid in real life. About 1 in 7 kids have been sexually
solicited online, says John Shehan, CyberTipline program manager for the
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in Alexandria, Virginia. The
CyberTipline helps prevent sexual exploitation of children by reporting cases
of kids enticed online to do sexual acts.
While sexual predators have targeted children in
chat rooms, they migrate to wherever young people go online, Shehan says. More
predators are now scouring social networking sites, such as MySpace and Xanga,
because these sites have centralized so much information, Shehan says. A
child's profile typically includes photos, personal interests and blogs.
"In
terms of predators, that's obviously a hot spot where they can go to research
victims," Shehan says. "They need to meet these kids, groom these
children and become friends."
Predators
may take on fake identities and feign interest in a child's favorite bands, TV
shows, video games or hobbies. "They come across to the children as their
new best friend. They're going to have the same likes and dislikes,"
Shehan says. "It's quite crafty what these child predators will go
through."
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Internet
Danger #3: Pornography
One
of the worst dangers of the Internet, for many parents, is the idea that
pornography could pop up and surprise their children. But parents may not
realize that some kids are going online to seek out web porn, too.
You
can view the Internet browser history to see which websites your child is
visiting, Shehan says. But since kids can delete this history, you may want to
install Internet filtering software to block porn sites in the first place.
Software
filters aren't a perfect solution; some nasty sites can slip through, while
educational or family-rated sites may be blocked. So while some parents may
wonder whether monitoring means they're spying on their kids, the safety factor
often wins out. "If you get the monitoring software, put it on the
computer and forget that it's there," Aftab says. That way, if someone's
viewing porn, you'll have the records to deal with it.
Internet Danger #4: Damaged Reputations
Camera phones, digital cameras and web cams are
everywhere these days, and kids can be victims of their own inexperience with
new technology. Many post pictures, videos or notes online that they later
regret. "Think before you post, because once you do, it's going to be up
there forever," Shehan says.
A child's online reputation is a growing concern,
Aftab says, with the rise of online social networking and profiles. She cites
reports of schools and employers rejecting young people for high school
programs, internships, college admissions and jobs after checking out what
applicants have posted online.
Many teenage girls put up provocative photos of
themselves, Shehan says. Why? Handy - a teenager herself - believes it's a game
of one-upmanship. "Kids are trying to look cool. They're doing it because
everyone else is doing it. A girl will see a picture and say, 'Oh, I can top
that.' And before you know it, she's half-naked on the Internet for everybody
to see."
- Explain that even if your kids delete their posted photos, others may have already copied them into public forums and websites.
- Tell your kids not to let anyone, even friends, take pictures or videos of them that could cause embarrassment online - such as if a relative or teacher saw them.
- Talk to your kids about possible consequences, the experts say. A 17-year-old might think it's hilarious to post a MySpace photo of himself looking drunk, with empty beer bottles strewn around him. But will a college admissions officer be impressed? Probably not
Internet
Safety Tips
- Ask your children if they use a social networking site. Look at the site together or search for it yourself online. Social networking sites often have age limits. MySpace prohibits kids under 14 - but doesn't verify kids' ages, so anyone can use it. If you want to delete a site, work with your child to cancel the account, or contact the social networking site directly.
- Tell your kids not to post a full name, address, phone number, school name and other personal information that could help a stranger to find them. Remind them that photos - like your child in a team sweatshirt - can give away clues to where they live. Ask them not to send photos to people they meet online.
- Learn about privacy settings that allow kids to choose who can view their profiles. Explain that strangers who approach them online aren't always who they say they are - and that it's dangerous to meet them in real life. Tell them to "instant message" only with family or friends they already know off-line.
- When it comes to Internet safety, there's no substitute for parental supervision. Put your computer in a common area of your home, not a child's bedroom, so you can keep an eye on online activities. Go to websites that explain the short-hand kids use in instant messaging, like "POS" ("parent over shoulder") or "LMIRL" ("let's meet in real life"), so you know what's going on.
- Ask your kids to report any online sexual solicitation to you or another trusted adult right away. Shehan asks adults to report the event to the CyberTipline (800-843-5678), where staff will contact law enforcement agencies to investigate. He also advises parents to call their local police and save all offensive emails as evidence.
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